There has to be something in life that has more excitement than just selling. I’m tired of being in sales. Tired. I’m going to start exploring other things to do. I HATE SALES!

This is the third day that I’ve practiced guitar and jogged. I’m seeing how the habits form excellence. Why didn’t I ever see this before? I’ve heard practice make perfect before. I suppose the concept of perfect was vague. Maybe I couldn’t see past a day, a week, a month. Whatever the case, I see clearly now how I can accomplish  all things that I desire.

Life is starting to make sense. I’m sure I’ve figured out the pieces of the puzzle. I got up and started  practicing my guitar.  After the first exercise, I felt good about myself. Without focusing on where I was at in my journey, I felt good about the experience.

Somethings are becoming old hat. I wonder why people have to be so mean to each other, insensitive, callus. I’m coming to the conclusion that this is who we are. Co-workers are not friends. Friends are not friends. And family, that’s a questionable concept too. If I’m to figure everything out for myself, what reason are people in my life? It benefits them in one way or another. My boss wouldn’t have me around if I wasn’t profitable for his company. Would I ever consider him a friend? Should I be thankful that he employed me or should he be thankful that I’m still around. He really doesn’t need me, I’m a dime a dozen in a world of ten million unemployed.

People really don’t need me. I need them. Until I don’t need them anymore. What’s the point of the dance? What I need I can never get. That was some comfort that was authentic in a world full of evil.

12:52 p.m.

This morning I went to get my things out of the pawn shop. After I paid the owner his money, he got up and thanked me, expressing how much he appreciates my business. A $75.00 with a $15.00 interest payment for $1,500 worth of merchandise. The employee expressed how much they appreciated my business. And promised me that I could get a little more next time. I asked him why he would encourage someone to lose money. I asked him how much interest I had paid. His answer, $15.00. I paid a lot more annually I told him. Fifteen dollars wasn’t the interest payment either. This is why poor people stay poor. They have the financial aptitude of a three-year old.

I finally figured out the solution my life. It’s almost like an algebra problem. No one is going to help me figure it out, so I have to do it myself. School is the same way. The information is there, but it’s up to seek it out. There is a solution to the life that I want to live, however, being in the labor market can not be a variable to the final solution. The key is to learn new entrepreneurial skills. I need to learn skills that don’t require my labor in exchange for my time. Well sort of. Playing guitar and singing will require my time but I’ll be satisfying my creative spirit which is the solution that I’m trying to get to. I know exactly how much I need to replace my job. If I can develop two skills that can double the amount I get from the labor market, I’ll be able to walk away from the labor force to purse all of my creative desires.

Today I realized that none of the answers that I seek will come from anyone but myself. Waiting for someone to tell me the answers to wealth, or how to solve my problems in unrealistic. They don’t provide you this even in school. You’re expected to problem solve on your own. So I imagined, if I was in a sticky situation where my life was at stake, would I come up with the solution or die? This is where I find myself at the moment.

I found so much joy in completing two paintings this weekend. After I finished, I didn’t want the joy to end. I was looking a playing guitar, or my keyboards, or writing some lyrics to a new song. To be able to do what brings me joy, I’m going to have to figure out the solution to living that type of life. I have to scratch my way to creating that type of life. N one is going to paint the directions on how to get there for me.

I can’t control how people interpret what I say. I can only say it again and hope they heard me the second time.

I can’t control how people feel.

I can’t control what people think.

I can’t contol what people do.

I can’t control what people believe in.

I can only control my thoughts and actions and whom I share them with.

I don’t know what caused me to join Commission River today but I did. I was looking for an affiliate program to join. I reviewed quite a bit today but something about the mobile communications industry made sense to me.

Well, I’m going to see if I can earn some money with this affiliate program. I plan on documenting my journey along the way.

I have proved to myself that I can make money trading. But it is absolutely mind blowing to be in such large positions with so little capital. I’ve decided that I’m going to learn another way to make money on the net. I’ve chosen affiliate marketing. Let the journey begin.