Somethings are becoming old hat. I wonder why people have to be so mean to each other, insensitive, callus. I’m coming to the conclusion that this is who we are. Co-workers are not friends. Friends are not friends. And family, that’s a questionable concept too. If I’m to figure everything out for myself, what reason are people in my life? It benefits them in one way or another. My boss wouldn’t have me around if I wasn’t profitable for his company. Would I ever consider him a friend? Should I be thankful that he employed me or should he be thankful that I’m still around. He really doesn’t need me, I’m a dime a dozen in a world of ten million unemployed.

People really don’t need me. I need them. Until I don’t need them anymore. What’s the point of the dance? What I need I can never get. That was some comfort that was authentic in a world full of evil.

12:52 p.m.

This morning I went to get my things out of the pawn shop. After I paid the owner his money, he got up and thanked me, expressing how much he appreciates my business. A $75.00 with a $15.00 interest payment for $1,500 worth of merchandise. The employee expressed how much they appreciated my business. And promised me that I could get a little more next time. I asked him why he would encourage someone to lose money. I asked him how much interest I had paid. His answer, $15.00. I paid a lot more annually I told him. Fifteen dollars wasn’t the interest payment either. This is why poor people stay poor. They have the financial aptitude of a three-year old.