As my life is beginning to take shape now, things are becoming clearer and clearer. Space, time, objectives, labor, women, money, happiness, and reaching my full potential. Over the last week, I’ve been trying to get a head start on my algebra class which starts on Saturday. Every evening, when I come home, there is work that needs to be done. The dishes need to be put up, dishes need to be washed, dinner needs to be made, laundry needs to be done, folding of the clothes needs to be done. I was able to work on a few problems. In put them into my computer program to do later as exercises. Then I was tired. I needed to take a nap before I had to wake up and get my roommate. I lost another $100.00 trading. I promised myself that I would read more about trading before trading again. Reading needs to be done. I want to get my thoughts down on paper. Blogging needs to be done. And it’s 11:30 p.m. now. Imagine trying to fit a relationship in my schedule now. Impossible. What am I aware of? That making money isn’t easy. That it take time and energy to develop a new skill to earn more money. That life isn’t meant to be fair. And there is no such thing and kindness and love. That whatever I choose to do, I need to be satisfied with that. I’m never going to find the love I envision because it doesn’t exist. These are my thoughts and today is January 19th, 2010.

My life is taking on certain rhythm again. Repeating the same things over and over. Now that I have a roommate, I get to see someone else life repeat the same moving steps, over and over. There is one thing that brought me a great deal of joy was playing music the other night. I pulled out my guitar and started practicing No Woman, No Cry. It was only four chords. Simple rhythm.  I thought if I learned a song a week, I could be ready to start playing the streets by the summer. I’m still entertaining that thought.

I bought my algebra book yesterday. $112.00.  I started practicing some of the problems in the first chapter. This class is going to take a lot of focusing on. It might interrupt my whole plans and schedule.

Acceptance 11:10 a.m.

After looking for countless hours for a part-time job that starts at 6:00 p.m. until maybe 9:00 p.m., I’ve just came to realize that I really don’t need a job. Being a part-time student, working part-time and having a part-time business is more than enough. I don’t know why I have to try and  fill so much on my plate. I’m satisfied. I’m confident I will start earning $200.00 per day trading once my account is up to $4,000.00. I have to remain patient.

Sunday started off as a disaster. I lost by the morning $193.35. I closed out all my positions. What happened? I entered a trade too early before the market got started. It reversed on me. I must have entered the trade around 5:00 p.m. Sunday night. Second mistake, I over leveraged myself. I placed another 10 lot sell trade to try and catch a reversal. That didn’t happened. By the morning I was less than 10%  away from receiving a margin call. I closed out 5 lots of my position. That left me about 30% away from a margin call. Well, I had to leave for work. It was best to close out all positions, learn my lesson (again) and lick my wounds.

Before leaving, the EUR/USD looked like a breakout from the daily charts. I placed a 10 lot buy trade with a 100 pip stop below. The break out didn’t happen. I’m now 1 day into the trade and I’m 50 pips away from being closed out.

This week is turning into an interesting week. I start off by losing money with my forex trading. Then I went to school to change my schedule to be able to work on Saturday and the morning classes are all filled up. As I reflect back on the last week of the new year, I thought it would be good to write a book.

Have I under estimated my trading abilities due the the losses I incurred last year or am I a better trader because of it? I believe it’s the latter. I had anticipated trading this morning when the unemployment rate came out. When the market reversed and started an upward short term trend, I backed out because I didn’t know what was going on. The unemployment rate remained at 10.0%. Why did the EUR/USD jump 100 pips? It wasn’t the unemployment report at all. It was the non-farm payroll report that the market was reacting to. Staying out was probably the best move as I didn’t know that the report was coming out. Secondly, I learned how important (along with the unemployment report) that non-farm payroll is. 

As a beginning trader, I made a lot of mistakes. The one I’ve learned from was getting in the market when it’s volatile like today. My first week in the 2010 year, I gained 203 pips. I did that without getting in. Of course, when the next month report comes out, I might be a little more confident to jump in. I will know to be aware of both reports.

The first week in the new year. How did I do in terms of my goals this year? I suppose it went pretty well. I was able to secure a part-time job that I start training for tomorrow. I made money as a trader. What I wasn’t able to accomplish was exercising and really eating well. I also fell kind of flat trying to work my Send Out Card business. I need to figure out how to use social media since that is the hottest marketing concept going on now.

This is the forth day of profitability for me. I’m knocking on wood as I write. Today the unemployment claim report came out. The number of claims was 434K. One thousand above what was forcasted. No real movement in the market.

The EUR/USD droppped around 100 pips overnight. I was still in a trade from yesterday morning. I was able to gain 22 pips. That make it 156 pips gained for the week. It really is starting to look like a good year for 2010.

No matter what you do, no matter how much you try and do the right thing, someone is always going to treat you badly based on their expectations of how they think you should behave. I’ve never been good at fulfilling the social script roles that are put on men. Make sure to watch out for someone at night. Make sure the door is open. Now I have to balance my personal priorities with an additional problem I have to solve.

I got the job as a waver for Liberty Tax. Yes, I’ll be waving at cars in the Chicago winter cold for $8.00 per hour. But that is what needs to be done to resolve my financial problems. None of the wealth books I accumulated said anything about this.

Even friendships can be tested. I hate the tension that it brings sometimes, like now. Over what? This is why I feel it’s best to be alone. I can avoid the guilt of being responsible for errors that I make.